The Final Year

How time flies. I couldn't believe that the year almost coming to an end in just a couple of months time. This means that it's about time for me to bid farewell to this year. Preparing myself to enter the next stage in my life. Come 2019, I am hoping to be more wise :'(

But I realize. No matter how I try to deny the "3 series", the time will definitely come. It's time to take careful steps in life and learning to be more independent. Growing up is tough but I shall just face the reality in life. It's about time to have a goal in life. Living with purpose. Appreciating my close ones.

At this stage of life, I began to realize who my real friends are. I always felt that having many friends is a secure feelings but I was wrong. It's about time to realize who are my true friends that sticks with me even in my worst time. With that I finally conclude that I was made clear who they really are. It's not the quantity of friends that matters but rather the qualities of great friends. What's the point of having thousands of friends but ended up as a "devil in disguise"?

It happened in my stage of life whereby I was being back stabbed by someone whom I regard as my "BFF" @ Best Friend Forever. Someone whom I really put my trust in. But due to jealousy, she ruined my life. I was frustrated with what she did to me. But I strongly believe in what goes around comes around. Whatever evil things she did to me, I believe that one day she will get back what she deserve. It was my biggest mistake in being too honest with her.

I was often being described as "naive" and too honest with everyone. Perhaps my kindness was being taken advantage of by others. But never mind. I am learning to forget about the past that hurt me. It's about time to move on and never look back. Honestly it was never easy to forget about the past. It was a total nightmare. But if I keep thinking about the past, my heart will never feel at ease. I am not even sure if I can forgive what she did to me. I tried too hard to forget but I couldn't. Sadly it's not easy to forgive what she did. It's too extreme for anyone that was in my situation to ever forgive someone like her.

Majority might think that I'm too kind and never take things to heart. But I'm just human. Once I'm hurt, I can never forget thus forgive. Yes pretty much stubborn. I am kind of an easy going that can tolerate all kinds of nonsense others did to me but once I lost my patience and hurt, I'm sorry but you are not forgiven!

It's about time for me to end this year with a purpose in life. I'm at the end of my 20's but still young at heart; "baby face".

Hope

Hope....

I learnt something from it. I learnt never to put on high hopes on anything.

It ever happened to me. I hope too much. Hoping for miracles to happen in life. But ended up in disappointment, shattered into thousand pieces.

But to think back, as a human who am I to place high hopes on certain things in life? I'm just a servant to my God, Allah swt. I should leave it to him. For everything is already written by him. No matter how I wish for something, and if Allah doesn't permits it, nothing will happen. Everything will goes as his plan.

I learnt that if I put too much hope on human, I will tend to be disappointed one day. I should work hard to achieve something or gain success in life. God will never help anyone if we don't help ourselves. After hardwork then we can leave it to him, our creator.

For once I really hope that my wish will be fulfil. Years ago, I am really interested with this particular job. I was shortlisted and I came down. The interview went well. I asked questions after the interviewer ended their part on elaboration of the job scope. For once the conversation keep on going as it's my interest to be in that line. Something which best describe myself. I chose a job that I am interested so that I won't feel that I am working but enjoying throughout.

But luck wasn't on my side. They convince me they are looking for someone like me to fill in the position but it turns out what are spoken isn't necessary what they really mean. Perhaps they are just trying to be nice. 

After that incident I am beginning to limit my hopes. I never hope like I used to previously. Whenever I have any ongoing interviews, I'd just go with the flow. I will never question again why wasn't I selected? Whatever happens, I shall accept it willingly. I prefer not to stress myself out anymore. 

As I grow older, I emphasise more on positivity. There's definitely a reason behind everything that happened. Perhaps a blessings in disguise. 

That's it for now. Till the next update if I feel like updating. 

I ♥ MY LIFE :)

Rejection

The feeling of being rejected.

I ever say to myself that I am immune to rejection.

For the countless, umpteen number of times, I undergone a rejection in ways.

Rejection can happen in many ways.
1) School
2) Work/Business (Formal)
3) Friends
4) Relationships (Personal)

But I'm not going to elaborate on every point mentioned above.

When rejection happen, I often ask myself. Why me?

Why luck is not on my side whenever I failed an interview. I honestly need a job but why yet another rejection? Is it my low self confidence contribute to my failure?

At the end of the day I honesltly thinks that it's not entirely on how well a person did for an interview. Not by the number of questions being asked during the session but how an individual performs when work is given.

Being underqualified contributed to the rejection?

How does a piece of paper guarantee a good service to the company? I may not have a degree etc but does it really matters to prove a better performance? One thing I can assure is that I am a person who is willing to learn. Put me in any industry or different job position, I am quite sure I am able to adapt with surroundings. I will give my best  I can pick up quite fast especially when it concerns in house systems as I often uses different systems in various company.

I am often involves in short term contract assignments. As I do not have a certificates of specialities/degress etc, I'm often shortlisted for a temporary asignments. The good side of contract jobs is that I get to have an overall view of what working in a certain industries feels like. I shall just take the positive side of it.

Overall luck matters too in securing  a permanent or stable job. If I'm not even shortlisted, how can opportunities strike?

Okay. That's all from me as for now. I enjoy blogging during the wee hours as it's quiet and more ideas pouring in. 💡

📱 I'm updating using mobile. Please excuse if there's any typo errors 📱


I ♥ MY LIFE :)

Letting Go

It's been a long time since I last update my blog. Okay if I look back, erm... that's years ago.

Here's something which I wrote from my heart. After going through plenty of disappointment in life, this best describes my feelings. Trying to put on a smile and pretending nothing happens. Yes it hurts... But at the end of the day, only God knew what's inside my heart.

📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜📜

Let it go...
It ain't easy
But sometimes changes is necessary
Truth hurts but that's reality

Let go of the past to embrace the future
Tears shed along the way is expected
Breakdown is normal
Let go of everything

Appreciate but never humiliate
Be mindful of words spoken
Because it can never be taken back

Nobody's is perfect without any flaws
Never judge anyone easily

Sometimes truth is best left unspoken
Letting go is the hardest thing to do

I ♥ MY LIFE :)