I'm not prepared to face the challenges ahead. Sometimes I don't understand myself.
I don't even know why I started writing this entry in the first place. It seems meaningless & pointless. I have no plans on what I'm about to write. I am definite any readers that stop by my blog will think that it's a total crap on what I'm writing down here. I am not even sure why I log into my blog at this hour. To kill time or boredom?
The house felt a complete emptiness & extremely quiet at this hour. Wait... It's nothing unusual if the house seems quiet. There's only a few staying here. But what about this area? Have everyone in this housing estate gone to sleep? Silence is what I'm experiencing right now unlike usual.
If only I can Freeze The Time...
24 hours in a day is never enough. Poor time management? Seriously I'm tired thinking of what's goina happen in times to come. Honestly, I am mentally tired. My insomnia is getting worse as days goes by. I have not been sleeping for more than 24 hours. Nearly 2 days to be exact. Today I felt terrible. Unfocused state of mind the entire day. Sometimes I just feels like taking a bottle of sleeping pills. Wait... I don't intend to commit suicide. Don't get me wrong. I know ending our life purposely is a sin. I still hold on to my faith!
One thing for sure, I really am tired of everything that happen in my life. Frustrated and disappointed... My heart is shattered into thousand pieces... With some "fake" people around that adds to it. What could be worst than that. I pretend that nothing happen and try my best to put on a smile throughout but deep inside, I'm crying. Only God knew what I felt and went through.
I am actually a very private person. I don't enjoy talking about my personal life such as family but some people simply couldn't get enough of it. The more I try to avoid, the more they will touch on family issues. Enough please! It's the human nature I guess. We can never get satisfied with what we have. We demand more & more.
Even though I blog about my personal life but there is a line that I won't cross. Some things are best to be kept untold. I will never reveal anything that's too personal. I may rant about certain things but I try to hide certain factors such as the related parties identities will be kept confidential.
Thank you mum for giving birth to me. I am missing you :'(
A year older but forever young at heart. I wish to be a better person in times to come. Insya Allah...
I Wish I Could Hold Back time :'(
Here's a song "awaken" by Maher Zain. A song that touched my heart. I used this song as a reflection on life.
http://youtu.be/N4G0fdh_Ty0
AWAKEN
We were given so many prizes
We changed the desert into oasis
We built buildings of different lengths and sizes
And we felt so very satisfied
We built buildings of different lengths and sizes
And we felt so very satisfied
We bought and bought
We couldn't stop buying
We gave charity to the poor 'cause
We couldn't stand their crying
We thought we paid our dues
But in fact
To ourselves we're just lying
Oh...I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place
I'm walking with my head lowered from my race
Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west
When in fact all focus should be on ourselves
We were told what to buy and we'd bought
We went to London, Paris and Costa Del Sol
We made show we were seen in the most exlusive shops
Yes we felt so very satisfied
We felt our money gave us infinite power
We forgot to teach our children about history and honor
We didn't have any time to lose
When we were.. (were)
So busy feeling so satisfied
I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place
I'm walking with my head lowered from my race
Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west
When in fact all focus should be on ourselves
We became the visuals without a soul
despite the heat
Our homes felt so empty and cold
To fill the emptiness
We bought and bought
Maybe all the fancy cars
And bling will make us feel satisfied
My dear brother and sister
It's time to change inside
Open your eyes
Don't throw away what's right aside
Before the day comes
When there's nowhere to run and hide
Now ask yourself 'cause Allah's watching you
Is He satisfied?
Is Allah satisfied?
Is Allah satisfied?
Is Allah satisfied?
Oh..I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place
I'm walking with my head lowered from my race
Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west
When in fact all focus should be on ourselves
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/awaken_lyrics_maher_zain.html
All about Maher Zain: http://www.musictory.com/music/Maher+Zain
Our smile is a light that may illuminate the darkness in others hearts, it costs nothing but can give everything :)
I ♥ MY LIFE :)
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